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She’s about to have a serious temporal tantrum.

In retrospect, I probably should have passed on the ceviche.

It was already a weird Friday. My class is stuck on this bizarre remote island for our senior trip, I’m pretty sure Mr. D (“call me Max”) is hiding something from us, my ex-best friend turned biggest tormentor keeps stealing my candy, and tonight’s plan to finally ”do the deed” with my boyfriend is not going exactly as planned.

I mean, ceviche is delicious, don’t get me wrong. But a dish made from a supposedly immortal octopus should really come with a warning label.